i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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