She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
