The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
