she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize