Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
