If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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