i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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