I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
