Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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