I can tuck mytits in my pants
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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