I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
