My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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