almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Houston, we have a squirter
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Your penis caused this!
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