I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
