Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
