I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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