ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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