Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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