do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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