i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
