wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
