k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
