so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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