it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Are these your boobs on my camera?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
