He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize