the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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