Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
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