You're my little dorito
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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