We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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