Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
