As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Can you repeat that, but with context?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
