Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize