As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
