Whod you bang
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
