C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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