I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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