i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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