Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
