You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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