whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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