.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
