I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
