around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
