Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
