Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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