I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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