I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
