We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
well most of my day revolves around power hour
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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