Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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