my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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