so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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