Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
