New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
