like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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