So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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