I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
