he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
