I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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