I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just forgot I was standing up.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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