Someone shit on the floor
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
