Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
