It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
