my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
