oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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