I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
