tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He? As in you personified your dick?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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