Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Randomize
