Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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