So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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