all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
