I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
