Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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