She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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