Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize