Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
