It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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