walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
