her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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